My name is Ryan and I am a do-it-yourself addict. From little things like fixing a leaky faucet to the big scary stuff like replacing the water pump on a front wheel drive car, I try to do these things myself.

For instance, this weekend I’m planning to replace a blown exhaust gasket and do an oil change on my car. The cost savings is maybe $50, but I’m going to do it myself anyway. It will take me three to four times as long as taking it to a shop so the money savings is pretty much a trade off for the time I invest in the job. This is how insidious my disease is.

I have a more advanced form of the disease than most however. I actually VOLUNTEER to help other peoples with their do-it-yourself projects. I’ve built swing sets, done brake jobs, painted houses and many more things along those lines. I guess that makes me an enabler. It gets worse. I’m also a pusher. I convince people that many of the things they were going to pay someone to do they can do themselves. I even volunteer to help them. What kind of sicko am I?!

Once, when I was younger and mildly dumber, I convinced a friend’s mother that I could take down a tree in her back yard that was threatening to ruin her pool. So there I was on an extension ladder, dangling off the side with a chainsaw in my hand trying to cut some of the larger branches off. As I looked down at my friends (they were pulling on a rope tied to the branch in an effort to keep it from falling on the roof) it dawned on me that I might actually not survive this. Did I stop…not a chance! That is the depth of my sickness.

There are many other examples I could give but I’m already breaking out in a cold sweat thinking about that one. So I’ll just end here with a tip for all you do-it-yourselfers. DON’T DO IT, WHATEVER YOU’RE PLANNING!! Go to the movies instead. Its safer and will probably cost less.